We had our first meeting with the school system today! Mary and I took the 25-minute drive down to where most all of the county and state child-oriented offices are.

Architectural aside: You can tell that the construction of this building and the passage of the legislation that mandates special ed services might have had something to do with each other. The 70s, brown, prison-crossed-with-bland-military-base-buildings motif of the place was as depressing as I remember it from his first evaluation there two years ago. An army of children could have shat all over the bathroom and you never would be able to tell.

Anyway, the meeting involved his Early Intervention Coordinator and a representative from the school system. As defensive as all parents who go through this are programmed to be from the word go, this went very well. We’ve been told by several people that if you’re going to live in North Carolina and have to get services through the county school system, where we live (Wake County / Raleigh) is the place to be.

No real red flags at this point and we have a pretty decent sense of what our schedule is going to look like between now and the start of the school year. Many parts of the outcome are unknown obviously (where he’ll be placed, what services he’ll qualify for, etc.). Given that the official meeting to determine everything (the IEP meeting) won’t be until less than a month before the school year starts, we’ll be hitting up on some serious time pressure there. Because his birthday and the start of the school year are within a few days of each other, this apparently makes it much easier for him to get a placement closer to our house. There will be much rejoicing if that happens!

The one major issue that gets my Hanes all in a wad is that when school isn’t in session, the special ed kids get no services through the school system unless they are in an extreme situation of regression. I was thinking, Yeah I know school won’t be happening, but surely he can still get some speech and occupational therapy through the county during those times. *Buzzer* Thanks for playing.

Harsh reality of county school services #1 - No school = you’re completely on your own until the next time the bell rings weeks or months from now.

News flash for school systems #1 - The typical degradation over the summer of a child’s knowledge of civics and calculating the time it takes trains to meet in Wisconsin is not as big of a deal in the grand scheme of things as the potential regression of speech in an autistic three-year-old. I’m way more interested in him talking than having that vacation to Disney. Just sayin’.

We do both kinds of school years here: Year-round and “traditional” (end of August to early June, give or take). I would think every special ed parent in the world would want year-round since the breaks between sessions are spaced out and shorter, which means less interruption between services. We can fill in 2-4 weeks off a few times a year with something. It’s the 2 1/2-month expanse of nothing in the traditional calendar that concerns me. Talk about a potential for regression!

Helpful answer to Reality #1 - The “Autism Underground” (pretty much what I’m calling the collective of parents around here who form the most elaborate support network I’ve ever seen) kicks in and offers everything you can think of to help you through those breaks in the action. We’d probably also try to get back in with his current therapy office during those breaks to keep the progress going.

Of course, we’ll also have the new home ‘classroom’ (still a vaporware DIY project). But since the recommendation is for 35 hours per week of total activity time (school + therapy services + work at home on therapy-related activities = 35), losing for any period of time what will make up the majority of that - school - will be rough. We’ll figure it out, but this has been a bit of sticker shock for us.

Confluence of unrelated events that may work to our benefit #1 - J-Man misses the kindergarten cut-off here by a whole day. This means he will be eligible for three years of preschool and not two, all because they couldn’t schedule Mary for induction in August three years ago. That could really work out well toward meeting our primary goal of getting to a place where he can be mainstreamed in a “regular classroom” and get near age-level developmentally by the time he starts kindergarten. Either way, much work lies ahead.

All that said, this part of the IEP process is like the preseason in NFL football. People go out and run a few plays and get acquainted with the game. It’ll be a couple of months until we put the pads on, but all signs so far lead us to feel optimistic that we won’t need to use them.

J-Man’s ‘inclusive preschool’ has taken its show down the road a couple of miles. We outgrew the little room we were in at the therapy office, which doubled as the community break room for the therapists. Not to mention, all the heat in the building apparently was directed into that little room. The combination of heat, body funk, markers, apple juice, and pee diapers proved to be a real motivator to complete the deal to move into a more spacious setting. God help them all if a kid ever dropped a diaper bomb in that old room…

So J’s preschool - a.k.a. The First Church of ‘Yes, We Can’ - has literally moved into a church. The room is huge, and they have a full-blown playground! The first day’s report was that Jonas - feeding issues and all - found the edible mulch at the playground reasonably palatable. Maybe if we shred some over pasta he’ll eat it.

With nine kids on the wait list for a class of just six, the new digs will let them split the class into two and add six more kids. They’re looking to group the kids in the class by developmental delays, so for instance the ’sensory kids’ will end up together.

The classes are team-taught, which is not only a good idea but an absolutely necessity! One of his teachers from before now has the other class and his developmental therapist has now joined in as the other half of his teaching team. J-Man looked a little confused about this for a while, with a temporary “Holy crap, what are you doing here?” look on his face.

He did his explore-the-room-off-by-myself-to-get-adjusted thing for quite a while, but he’s coped with the new environment much better than I thought he would. I think the size of the room really helps since he can go get some personal space if he needs it, something much harder to do in the old place.

They’ll add one new kid a week until each class gets to six so everyone - including the teachers - can get used to all the changes. It’s been great getting to know the other parents and kids, and I look forward to the new ones. They’re such a fun bunch!

So, a great first week! With the big autism evaluation Tuesday, we have no idea what this coming week will bring. More on that later…

New word of the day - ‘two-berty’, the two-year-old equivalent of puberty marked by tantrums, stubbornness, and parental drinking. (see also Twos, Terrible)

We’ve gotten lucky so far. J-Man’s tantrums generally have been short-lived. Give him a minute and he’s fine. I think those days are coming to an abrupt end.

I dropped him off a while ago at ‘inclusive preschool’, a.k.a. Group Therapy with Paint, The Place Where Therapists Try to Get the Kids to Not Notice They are Therapists by Disguising Themselves as Teachers, and (most importantly) The First Church of ‘Yes, We Can’ Even If It Takes Us a While. He threw a fit something awful. My caffeine-to-parental-guilt ratio was a bit skewed this morning, so I think that leveled it out. Um, thanks.

Next week, the school transitions to a new building with more space and a playground. Hopefully that will help. Lots of people in a close space tend to unnerve him. Still, the transition may take us a week or two, especially since his occupational therapy and developmental therapy are changing days and we’re getting a new OT because of the new preschool schedule and the previous OT going on maternity leave. Should be a fun week next week.

Well, Daddy quiet time at the library is nearly over. Off to pick him up and see how well he did today.