Today I went to the doctor because I’m still tired, and not really able to concentrate, and have no stamina, and have NO initiative to either start anything or finish whatever I feebly started.

She told me to eat right, exercise, get more sleep, and take time for myself. I wanted to cry right there in the office. I asked if there couldn’t be a drug for me - she said that drugs were a short-term solution, and that I needed to look at the long-term and take better care of myself physically, or I simply wasn’t going to get better. I told her what my day consists of, and how there isn’t time for me to do all those things. She said I would have to make time. Uh huh. She suggested I hire someone to do the stuff that takes up my time, because “since you don’t do anything except work, you must have all this money sitting around.” No really, she said that.

So J-man, instead of working with you in the evenings, and instead of cooking, or doing laundry, or whatever, I’m just going to take that time for myself. Instead of paying for (I don’t know) our mortgage, and car payment, and Tim’s student loans, and therapy bills, and utilities, and groceries, I’m just going to hire someone to be my personal servant.

You’ll be pleased to know that the guide to eligible expenses that can be taken out of your flexible spending account has clarified some important social and theological issues.

Glad they cleared that up. This probably saved them from having to cover potato chips and cheesy poofs, too.

I particularly liked the theological implications of the next one.

I guess Tom Cruise didn’t yell hard enough.

All humor aside, breastfeeding supplies are not covered under flexible spending plans. We already knew this, but it still chaps our collective butts. God forbid we encourage breastfeeding even though every medical and child-oriented organization on earth recommends it. So working moms have to eat $300 plus the cost of supplies (at least, after you throw in a power supply every year and replacement parts on top of everything else) to pump milk for their kids while they’re at work even though doing so has shown that their kids will incur fewer medical expenses over time. But we’re not bitter. [end rant]

Last year’s health care spending orgy will stand another year as the fastest ever to our $2,200 deductible. J-Man’s two-day hospital visit for the norovirus vomit-fest last February assured its place in history.

That said, we’re pretty close already. We’re doing Rx roulette right now to figure out the right order to submit our prescriptions to get the least out-of-pocket costs. Once we go over the deductible, $600 medications suddenly turn into $35. Woot! (pathetic as that is…)

Thank God for flexible spending accounts. We’re essentially borrowing against future contributions into it at no interest. It’s sad that we fully expect to soak our $5,000 annual contribution to it well before the end of the year.

Next week’s autism evaluation should help that out…