Food

Strategies to Help a Child Drink From a Cup – Crowdsourcing Time!

by Tim on June 26, 2011

[I'm promoting this question from 'onlyash' from her comment in another post. Hope she doesn't mind.]

Here’s a great question from ‘onlyash’ that I wanted to try to crowdsource.

“I am a mom to a former micro preemie and I have contacted you before and your suggestions have always helped me, she is 4 now and still drinks water from a bottle. Do you have any suggestions or tricks you have used with the J-Man that you can share here.”

I’m not sure I have much in the way of great insights to share, but I’ll take a stab at a few from our experience. Those of you with particular experience with this, please share your wisdom in the comments.

We had a roller-coaster of results with bottles back in the day. Our J-Man was an ‘extended nurser’ in that he still breastfed a little until he was around preschool age. When Mary worked outside our home, I fed – or tried to feed – him pumped milk from a bottle for a long time. Sometimes this would work great; many times he’d go on bottle strike. This became an urgent problem because he really wouldn’t eat much of anything else. His diet was limited to a small number of pureed things, and even then what he’d eat or whether he’d eat them at all varied depending on mood. We were regularly frightened that he wasn’t getting enough vitamins, calories, or much nutrition in general.

We started feeding therapy with him when he was nine months old. His oral sensitivities and aversions are the stuff of legend. Getting him to let us put anything at all in his mouth took months of therapy. Even now, what he will eat is very limited.

Most of that journey is another story entirely, but with respect to drinking liquids back in those days that weren’t pumped breastmilk from anything other than a bottle, we tried all sorts of things. One thing worth noting here is that he never did sippy cups. This wasn’t because of anything we did. He just hated them and wouldn’t have anything to do with them. We’re all pretty sure it was from the ‘I don’t want anything weird in my mouth like a spout unless it’s attached to Mama’ kind of thing.

Now he drinks from these plastic, kid-sized, open travel cups. (We don’t use the spouted lids at all.) They’ve gotten him to take some drinks from different cups at school, but he’s pretty attached to our cups. Also worth noting that he almost solely drinks lightly-sweetened, decaffeinated, iced tea. Very recently he’s agreed to take a few sips of milk.

Here are some things we’ve tried.

* We eventually got him to experiment with a cup by getting acrylic shot glasses from a party store. I think they were like a dollar apiece. They’re indestructible and only hold about an ounce of liquid. If he spilled whatever was in it, no big deal. Plus it was smaller and fit better in his hands and mouth. He was probably about 18 months give or take at that point, but this is something worth trying for just about any age.

* We played with cups (started with those shot glasses and worked our way up) in the bathtub, tried to pour some water around and on his face some, and occasionally got some on his lips. We let him experiment with the cups, too, filling them with water and pouring them out, etc. Obviously we did this before soap or shampoo got in the water. We tried to make a game of it or at least make it as fun as possible. It took a lot of time, but eventually this started helping his comfort level and willingness to experiment with cups.

* He was very reluctant to let us put the cup near his mouth (as he is with about anything), so this took a lot of patience. Like many things, he wants to be in control of what is near him.

* We eventually tried heavier glasses like small jars that could withstand being dropped. With the J-Man’s sensory issues, he responds better to heavier objects. The weight often calms him. For the longest time, this was all he’d drink out of, but hey, he was drinking out of an open cup! Eventually he worked up to the travel cups.

FYI – The above are mostly from before he turned 3.

* When we want to attempt something new, we try to structure it with some sort of visuals and/or social story. With new foods or drinks, we’ll either use a written schedule-type story to indicate what he’s expected to do or use a visual that shows the same. For instance, for the written story:

1. J-Man is going to drink some milk from a new cup.
2. Take a sip.
3. Take a sip.
4. Take a sip.
5. Take a sip.
6. Take a sip.
7. J-Man is finished!

Seems redundant perhaps, but the point is that every time he takes a sip, we cross off that step. You can obviously do this with pictures, too. For instance, every sip they take from the cup you want them to drink from, you could remove one of the pictures. When all the ‘take a sip’ pictures are gone, they’re done.

I think both the structure and knowing when they’re going to be done with this task they clearly would prefer not to do helps get them started and actually doing it. Even that may take time, but persistence and much patience can pay off. The hope is that they will realize it’s not so bad and perhaps even like it.

So how did you get your child to transition to cups, try new drinks, or taste new foods? Please leave a comment and share your wisdom!

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Shut Up

by Mary on August 23, 2010

Last week we had a parents’ night at school, and discussed communication. The topic was so popular that they were a little overwhelmed in the childcare area, so I ended up leaving about halfway through and helping out. (I carried around the 2 youngest kids and sang to them. My arms still hurt 3 days later.)

We talked about picture boards, and choice boards, and expecting MORE from our kids in terms of communication… but maybe sometimes LESS in terms of spoken words. One of the things the teachers kept stressing was that parents need to remember to stop themselves from overwhelming the kids… with words. They really pushed using pictures to illustrate what the kid needed to say, instead of constantly repeating ourselves. For example, we should say “would you like some apple?” – and then if there is no response, pick up the picture card, and point to the applesauce – and be quiet. Just point.

This one is a hard one for Tim and me. I have to keep reminding myself to shut up, and give the J-man time to process and respond. And keep reminding myself. And keep reminding myself.

The teachers also suggested making the J-man interact with us more – by only giving him a little of what he wants, or only part of what he needs. For example, I know that every morning, the J-man comes downstairs and has applesauce, nuggets, and tea for breakfast. For the longest time, we just went ahead and had everything ready to save time. Now though, he has to ask for each of those things. We also have started giving him half a container of Veggie Straws, when he normally gets an entire container of them for a snack. If he wants more, he has to ask for them! (While I was typing, he asked for crackers… I gave him 3, when I’ve seen the boy eat an entire sleeve! So I’m waiting to get interrupted again.) They suggested when he asks to color, to give him the paper, but then wait for him to ask for the crayons, or even make him ask for specific colors.

One last thing we talked about recently was trying to move the J-man toward forming some letters correctly with his mouth – instead of B and P, he makes this “glottal stop” sound with his lips open. We are waiting (and waiting and waiting) for him to close his lips while making that sound, and only THEN does he get to watch Pinky Dinky Doo, or “do pillows” where we squash him on the floor with pillows for deep pressure. The past couple of times, I’ve just needed to tap my lips and say “lips” and he closes his. The sound is still the same at this point, but the lip position is at least beginning to change.

It’s so slow sometimes that I want to scream. And then, like the “P” lips closed position thing, it’s quick.

One more thing that has nothing to do with communication, but is just too awesome to not mention: I steamed some carrots for Dale Jr, but then couldn’t get him to eat them in pieces, so I ended up pureeing them. I added them to applesauce, and he ate them just fine. Hmmm… how would the J-man react? I am proud to say that he now eats applesauce with pureed carrots (OR pureed butternut squash) AND a dollop of plain yogurt mixed in. I think he may even like it better than the plain applesauce. That makes… NINE FOODS!

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MOAR PUFFS nom nom nom

by Mary on January 13, 2010

When we first heard about Signing Time [affiliate link], it was because I had read about teaching a baby to sign – that it reduced frustration for them to be able to communicate before they could speak. I ended up thinking that all of those children had to be BRILLIANT to be able to learn to sign, because even though the J-man loved watching Signing Time, he couldn’t (or wouldn’t) sign. He didn’t have the fine motor skills to pull off doing any sign that had finger movement or shaping.

The only sign the J-man ever used was “more” and I’m still not sure that he understood what he was asking for. The only time he ever used it was when we were playing a game where we carried him around and stopped suddenly, and he had to ask for “more” before we would move again. So he understood that we would start running again, but I think he just thought the sign meant something like “go.” Once the J-man was able to actually say the “g” sound (for GO!) he stopped with signing “more.”

In the span of something like 5 minutes, I just taught Dale Jr to sign “more.” He was sitting in his high chair eating (also something new this time around), and I asked if he wanted “more” or “all done” – signing each thing. (Our “all done” is like an umpire making the SAFE signal at home plate, because the other way to do “all done” looks too much like stimming for the J-man to ever differentiate.) Dale Jr would open his mouth like a baby bird in a nest, and I would pop in another Gerber Puff, each time signing “more!” before.

Suddenly, when I asked if he wanted “more” or “all done” he clapped his fists together. “MORE” I shouted, and gave him another puff. “More or all done?” Again, he clapped his fists together. “MORE!”

Then, before I could ask the question, Dale Jr looked at me pointedly, and clapped his fists together. “MORE!”

I called Tim downstairs to make sure I wasn’t reading more (heh) into the situation than it warranted, and Dale Jr showed Daddy that he could sign “more” with a bit of resignation – all, “I just want the dang Puff, people, so could you give it to me?”

And, we celebrated.

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Of Grandmothers and Fruit Salad

by Mary on March 23, 2009

When I was growing up, I had 2 grandmothers. (I know, most people have 2 grandmothers – or more – but mine were still living then.) One of them liked me a lot. The other didn’t. There was never any doubt, and everybody knew nothing could be done to change the one who didn’t like me. It wasn’t just me… she only liked one grandchild, although I do feel there was a special “non-space” in her heart for me based on our differences.

So anyway, my grandmother that liked me (let’s call her Mozelle, because that was her name – cool name eh?) was a do-er, a maker, a “we don’t have much money but we can show we love you in a different way” kind of grandmother. When I was sick, or just needed a mental health day, I could spend it on her couch, watching The Price is Right and her afternoon “stories” on CBS. She let us cook in her kitchen, and I’m sure we made HUGE messes. There was always some sort of snack for us in her kitchen, whether it was fresh parched peanuts, or baked sweet potatoes, or even just saltine crackers and homemade butter. I have 14 first cousins on that side of the family (Tim says that getting married to me was a lot like My Big Fat Greek Wedding except with Southerners) and we used to play in the yard at her house while the adults sat around and talked after Sunday dinner. She wasn’t this goody-goody kind of grandmother – there was always that little zing of mischief.

I was very sad that Mozelle wasn’t alive when I married Tim, nor when I had the J-Man. I have an afghan she crocheted for my first marriage, and I pretend it’s for this one – you know, the real one. I bet she did too. I have a pair of baby booties she crocheted when she knew she was dying… so that each of the granddaughters would have a pair for our first child. We framed them, and they hang in the J-man’s room. By that time, she could only crochet for about 5 minutes at a time before her hands would fall asleep, and I can’t imagine the amount of work that went into them.

I had a dream awhile ago. I was sitting on Mozelle’s front porch (as opposed to the side porch) rocking, and watching the J-man play in the yard with his cousins. She sat in the rocking chair beside me, and we just talked. She saw how great my kid is, and kissed him all over, just like she did with all the great-grandchildren born when she was alive. We didn’t talk about anything major, or earth-shattering, but I knew she knew I was happy. That was enough for me. I like to think she’s somewhere out there, smiling down at us, even though I’m no longer her “Little Miss America.”

[click to continue…]

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What’s Your Autistic Toddler Like Now? (Part 2)

by Tim on February 22, 2009

This is Part 2 of our series “What’s Your Autistic Toddler Like Now?”, a journey through what’s happening these days in the life of our autistic 3 1/2-year-old son and sequel to our very popular original article, “What’s Your Autistic Toddler Like?”.

Note: Wherever you see “DSM-IV” below, this means that attribute is part of the diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – Fourth Edition or DSM-IV. In medical terms, a specific combination of those DSM-IV criteria is what brings about a diagnosis of autism.

Same obvious disclaimer as before: We are not advising you on how to evaluate your child. Go get them evaluated by professionals with extensive experience with autism. Don’t just rely on some random people on the Internet – namely, people like us.

If you haven’t already, go back and read Part 1. If you have, let’s continue on!

Characteristics That Are Significantly Present (continued)

Difficulty with social awareness (a bit better but a lot to work on) – I don’t know whether this has an official meaning, but I think of social awareness in a very broad sense as being aware that there are people around you and that they can be engaged with at some interpersonal level. For some time, we referred to other kids in the room as ‘part of the furniture’ as our son didn’t interact with them much differently than any other object in the room.

School has helped him in this regard in that he has regular time every school day with the same children and is involved in activities with them on an ongoing basis. You still get the sense that he’d usually be content without them, but often the emotions of an autistic toddler are inscrutable.

He does enjoy watching other kids do funny things, but watching rather than playing with children is one of those possible signs of autism, and this is a fairly accurate description of where he is right now.

That said, it is nice to see that he’s aware that other people have names, and he can use a name to refer to a person, though usually now that’s only with some prompting.

Continue on with Part 3! [click to continue…]

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What’s Your Autistic Toddler Like Now? (Part 1)

by Tim on February 20, 2009

Many times over, our “What’s Your Autistic Toddler Like?” post is the most read article on this site. It’s also the post people most often cite as the reason why they write us and become regular readers of our blog. We are gratified by your response to our story about our son and hope all this has been helpful to you and your family.

In celebration of the 1st Anniversary of our blog, I decided to write a multi-part series, revisit that popular post, and update it for what the J-Man is doing now almost 9 months later. The original “What’s Your Autistic Toddler Like?” gave you a snapshot of what an autistic toddler might be like – or at least what ours was like – about three months before his 3rd birthday.

[click to continue…]

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Parent-Teacher Conference

December 17, 2008

Didn’t those words strike fear into your heart as a kid? Even when you KNEW you had been pretty much perfect the entire year? And that you were already making straight As in everything? Yeah… it’s worse for the parent. Maybe especially for the parents of a special needs child. We knew how awesome the [...]

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Temporarily Gaining Back Some Ground in the War on Chaos

December 7, 2008

I think Mary located a brief window in time where the thought of cooking meat didn’t make her want to barf, so she ‘celebrated’ by cooking everything in the house. Thanks to between one and many gallons of spaghetti sauce, gumbo, chicken chili, and chicken and dumplings (yum!) and a giant freezer, we have enough [...]

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