We see a lot of medical professionals here at Chez Flashlight. Many of them are great. I hereby declare my now former dentist not one of them.

As I was having Thai noodles - yes NOODLES and not even the crunchy kind that go on salads - for lunch, which I later chased with a few corn chips, I suddenly felt something very crunchy that even steel-reinforced Fritos couldn’t achieve. I had no idea what it was until about ten seconds later when I realized my back molar was missing about a quarter of its toothiness.

I’ve had this filling for barely more than six months. Last I checked, they’re supposed to last longer than that…

I cursed the name of my dentist and demanded a hearing before the Court of All Deities One Might Call Out to In a Time of Great Need so that I would have all of my divine smiting needs covered. I’ll never know whether my pleas were heard and smiting properly carried out - unless it shows up on the news - but I think my request that he at least be cursed with endless tobacco-chewing, halitosis patients through all eternity will be granted readily enough.

Perhaps he was upset with me for wondering out loud why someone would root around in someone’s wet, stinky mouth all day regardless of how much they got paid for it. There’s a reason why every modern horror movie has a dentist’s chair in it.

I rank the “Top Medical Specialization Choices I Don’t Understand At All” as:

* Dentists
* Proctologists
* Male Gynecologists

Tonight, as I keep feeling that giant, gaping place where part of my back molar used to be, I’ve realized one important, common trait between those three groups.

They are all ‘orifice doctors’. That’s all I got for you there.

Deep thoughts from a guy with a literal hole in his head.

On the plus side, J-Man is a lot better today. I guess I’m the Yang to his Yin, or however that works.