Here’s what I’ve been doing lately… worrying. I worry a lot, about things big and small. Don’t tell me not to sweat the small stuff – that just makes me worry that I’m doing something I shouldn’t.
I worry about the J-man, and how people will respond to him. His stimming has increased dramatically without the structure of school. It’s still cute when a 3-year-old does it – but the response will be a heckuva lot different when he’s 10.
I worry about how J-man will respond to the new baby. I know that’s normal for all parents expecting a second child, but it feels like a little more of an issue in our case. I mean, there is so much of our time where both Tim and I are with the J-man, and responding to everything he does. That’s going to be VERY different in a few months.
I worry about the new baby, and whether he will also be autistic. No, I obviously don’t consider autism a horrible thing/death sentence, but it DOES make life harder on both the child and the parents. It doesn’t really help that the genetic counselors were wanting to do testing on the J-man to see if he has some sort of recognizable genetic issue that could then be checked in the new baby. We are pretty sure his only genetic issue is having US as parents! Put 2 slightly socially-clumsy people together, and the chances seem to rise for having autism.
I worry that this baby will be a non-sleeper like the J-man was. The J-man finally started sleeping through the night when he was 18 months old. I went back to work full time when he was 7 weeks old… and he was still getting up every 2 hours then. Tim was NOT deemed an acceptable alternate for night-time feedings – the J-man was sort-of OK with the bottles of pumped milk during the day, but if Mama was in the house, then straight from the tap it had to be. I’m older now, and sleep is even more precious to me! There’s also that whole “we have to get the J-man out of the crib before the new baby comes since we will need it” thing going on. I’m scared to try something new since it took SO LONG to get the J-man to go to sleep on his own in the first place!
I worry about the economy and us having a baby now. My job seems pretty secure, but Tim’s will definitely lose some steam when he’s taking care of the new baby full time instead of working. With the J-man, after a while Tim slept maybe 5 hours per night because he would take care of the baby during the day while I was working, then work until midnight or so after I got home and could take over. He did that for a long time, until there was simply a crashing point. I know that’s not really an option now.
So I’m not sure if this new bout of worry is hormonal (thanks pregnancy!) or just the worry of parents everywhere, but it’s what I’ve been doing.
Interestingly enough, I’m not actually worried about labor/delivery. That will probably come later, but I’ve been through it, and survived quite well thanks. PLUS this baby is measuring in the 58th percentile (well, except for the head – thanks Tim!), while the J-man was already measuring in the 95th percentile by this point… so chances are this little one might be smaller! Woot!
Now if we could only come up with a name…
Posts that hopefully are similar:
- A Tale of Two Babies
- How Much is a Bed Worth?
- Out of the House and Temporarily Back to the ‘Real World’
- Starting to Sink In
- When the Only Thing Routine is the Lack of Routine
- Social Smiles
- Where Am I?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
HI Mary ,
You are a wonderful mom , you take such good care of Jman,inspite of being a working mom
of course worrying is bound to happen.Its always going to be there but seeing JMAN’s progress I feel a day will come when he might help you with the baby .Miracles do happen ,my bella is a miracle baby .
I think the Creator built worry into the preggo hormones… I was all tied up in knots about my second kiddo being a poor sleeper & fussy spit-up-y baby like my first, but when she arrived she nursed easily and slept remarkably. (Though it’s my 2nd child who has the autism, go figure). I too have a husband and co-blogger who bequeathed to both children a top-of-the-charts head circumference!
As for the crib issue — any chance you could score a hand-me-down crib from someone and just have two for a while?
Hang in there!
I worried about a lot of the same things before my baby girl was born. And my son actually didn’t respond well at all when she was born — he hated her. But she grew on him and has been his best friend and best therapist. Even if J-Man doesn’t do well with the new baby, hang in there. Sometimes new babies just take getting used to.
@asha – thanks! I try really hard, but I’m not one of those “natural mothers.” I learned everything I know from reading books… and they don’t always give you the right instructions. Why CAN’T there be a real manual with each new baby?
@JoyMama – I do think it somewhat hormonal, but I also think it’s probably just me as well. I’ve always been a worrier – with good reason when I was a kid, and even as an adult. I worry less now than ever before because a) I have Tim, and b) there is SOME control over my life. I guess maybe the lack of control is what’s getting me?
@MPJ – I’m hoping the J-man will get used to the new baby the way he gets used to most new things – repeated exposure being the key. That one will have to wait awhile though!