Process-oriented stuff now out of the way, let me say this. I know this is really, really scary. We dreaded every eval and were terrified of what they would say. It didn’t help that our first evaluation team had a complete idiot as one of the three evaluators. This is a really emotionally wrenching time. You are not alone in having felt this terror. You’re definitely not nuts. This is a very uncertain time.

I don’t know whether your son is autistic or not. If nothing else, the types of therapies that he may need probably won’t be much or any different right now regardless of what his diagnosis may or may not be. There are things you can start doing immediately like speech therapy and having someone talk about his possible sensory issues with you.

But if he is autistic, I will tell you the two things a couple of people told me back when I was where you are now. If you do get a diagnosis, he will still be the same beautiful, wonderful boy he was before. And, you will be OK. You may be scared mute about this and have no idea what you’ll do if he is diagnosed with autism, but you will make it. It will not be easy, but the strength and the community of support you need will be there.

Hang in there. Let us know how the evaluations go. Wishing you, your son, and your family our best.

I often tell people I know to compare their statements about autism to their racial equivalent, and the quality of that statement soon becomes obvious. I once wrote to a government who in a letter told me about an initiative called Helping Children With Autism that I sure hope they would not create an initiative to help Aboriginal children out of drug-consuming, drunken, or abusive households, and call it Helping Children With Blackness.