If motherhood imparts traces of omnipotence, even the rhetoric of special needs motherhood raises the bar. Often we are called “superhuman” or “saints.” The “I don’t know how you do it” that special needs mamas hear implies that we must have some other-worldly qualities to help us make it through the day. The notion that we doubt ourselves, keenly feel our limitations, or labor over our decisions simply doesn’t line up with the power necessary to meet the challenge of our daily tasks. – Vicki Forman
This mama says exactly what I would say if I could write like that. I am not a saint. I am not a superhero. Sometimes I’m not even a very good mama. I get tired of sensory issues and say things like “Just eat” or “Just climb the damn stairs.” I get jealous that my friend’s little boy, who is a year younger than the J-man, is speaking AND eating table food. I get scared about what is next, and so I procrastinate instead of learning something new, because then I have a reason for failure, instead of being a failure. I read random books as a form of escapism.
However, I do have superpowers! I can call upon the power of the boob at a moment’s notice, and my super-sensitive-nose has saved us from taking the J-man somewhere moments after he’s pooped. I can sing many songs in many keys, and have learned to vary the pace so he can sing along. Mostly though, I can love him.
That’s my best superpower.
Posts that hopefully are similar:
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- Whatever Gets You Through
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- What’s Your Autistic Toddler Like Now? (Part 3)
- Trying to Get Perspective
- Diagnosis Day – 2nd Anniversary Edition
- The quest to find our own asses begins
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Finally! Someone else who is dealing with oral defensiveness! Finally! I’m so glad I’ve found your blog!
Calling upon the power of a boob at a moment’s notice? Isn’t that the same as Cheney calling W?
I don’t believe for a second that you are not always a good mama. I know, I’ve watched you. Every parent gets frustrated at times, but you are damn good Mary. You and Tim do things I know I could never do. (which is why I’m an uncle?)
I hope to God that J-Man knows just how blessed he is to have you and Tim.
@Kia – We have been working on his oral defensiveness since he was like 9 months old. We’ve been at this for what feels like forever. Progress has been very slow, sometimes so much so as to be imperceptible. He has made steadier progress it seems in other sensory areas, but oral-sensory stuff has really been his biggest struggle in the sensory realm.
If you have questions, let us know! We can compare notes.
I have to say, I’m really working on my resentment around having that superhero mantle thrust upon me. I just want to be Clark Kent! Someone let me be Clark Kent!