Fun With Family
The J-man and I were at my parents’ house this weekend. You may not have heard my sigh of relief when I parked the car in the garage on Sunday evening. I’m sure it only echoed through three or four states.
Besides the lack of sleep for both the J-man and me, there were the “gentle” reminders that people like Jenny McCarthy get a lot of press. Had I heard of her? Didn’t I think it was great that she was telling the world about the cure for autism? How sad was I that we had the J-man vaccinated, and that was what caused his autism? Did I feel guilty? Why weren’t we trying to cure the J-man’s autism? Heck, all it takes is some supplements. Don’t we care enough to spend that kind of money on a sure thing?
Yeah, that part was fun.
Other than that, it was a pretty good time. The J-man charmed everyone, including all the new people we met. (Yes, my family is so big that there are reasonably close relatives that I haven’t met before.) For people who are Southern Baptist, there was a goodly amount of alcohol consumption going on. Funny thing is, I’m not religious, and I’m the one who doesn’t drink.
There was a LOT of really good food, which I didn’t have to cook, which makes it even better. There were some really lovely people I hadn’t seen in a long time, and I met some other really lovely people for the first time. They were all impressed with my hometown, because “everybody knows everybody else.”
EXACTLY. One of the many reasons I left.
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And here I said we weren’t going to discuss vaccines and cures.
Well, it’s as much about the periodic parental guilt aimed toward parents of autistic kids in general than anything, and we’re no exception. After all, for a lot of people, it’s somehow or another our fault. I guess there’s the whole “we live this stuff every minute of every day” vs. “I heard about this on Entertainment Tonight or Fox News” level of conversation that gets to us.
It seems like parents of autistic kids can’t talk to anyone who isn’t without this happening in one direction or another. The real sad thing is that it’s getting to where parents of autistic kids can’t even talk to each other because of people drawing lines in the sand about causes and cures and treatments and such. We’re litmus-testing each other now, and I think that sucks.
It’s depressing to me, but that’s for another post someday.
Whew, yeah. It’s hard to have those hm, I was going to say conversations, but that implies some reciprocity. It’s hard to be lectured by people who have seen a news clip on a subject that you are the 24/7 expert on: your child’s autism. The vaccine thing does irk me (I know I’ve posted about it plenty) in part because it does feel like just another way of blaming the parents. Argh!
Wow. Hearing about “concerned” family members like that makes me glad I don’t really have a family. I’m glad that there were other nice people there to offset that a bit, though.
Generally speaking, if people mean well and really want to be helpful, then I can let a lot of things slide by. As we say around here, we can always just smile and nod and listen to the music in our heads.
I do expect people to try to become more educated about these issues when they affect someone important to them, which sometimes happens and sometimes doesn’t. When it doesn’t, this is when I become upset; I feel like they aren’t trying, which to me is fundamental to any relationship.
It still is astonishing to me that with the mountain of research available about autism that the current gospel du jour has become Jenny McCarthy. Come on. She’s earned a place at the table, but not as the proclaimed keeper of all truth about autism, anymore than the laughable notion that I should be. I might as well go to Flavor Flav for expert advice on clock repair.
As I was telling someone the other day, the only person in this world who I’ve seen naked and take serious advice from is the one who lives in my house.
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