Pillow Fights of the Third Kind
Ed. I don’t know what the First and Second Kinds of pillow fights actually are, but I bet they’re not as good as the Third.
In a sign of just how exhausted I am, the night before last, I woke up in the middle of the night with a survival-life-or-death kind of instinct that I REALLY needed to yank the pillow out from under Mary’s head and put it back again very quickly - think yanking a tablecloth out from under a bunch of dishes.
I have no earthly idea why I felt like I had to do this or what literally dreamed-up reason was behind it. Apparently, according to Mary, I did it with speed and agility not normally seen in someone who is 99.99% in deep REM sleep.
Mary - whose what-the-hell reflex augmented the sharpness of her memory about this whole episode - says I yanked the pillow out and put it back so fast that her head didn’t have time to fall back down again before I’d stuffed it back under her. I couldn’t do this awake if I tried.
The scary thing is, I actually remember doing it, and then trying to explain to Mary what in the hell I was thinking. I’m sure I made up an eloquent and well-reasoned argument for it, but the obvious truth is, I have no freakin’ idea.
Other than I’m so tired right now that I can doze off while walking.






2 comments
Mary chiming in here:
a) it really was freaky how fast he maneuvered that pillow. My head bounced once on the bed, then the pillow slid back under me.
b) I was afraid I was dreaming, so I actually asked Tim if he had just yanked my pillow out from underneath my head. Instead of the eloquence he alludes to, the answer was simply, “Yes.” We didn’t talk about it until the next day because I was too tired.
c) at which time I told him that if he ever yanked the pillow from underneath my head while I was in deep sleep again, I would smother him with said pillow.
d) I swear this is payback for that period of time before I got my CPAP machine and could wake the dead with my snoring.
Video! I want VIDEO!! That is hilarious.
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